Visions from the Abyss: The Sinister Truth of YHWH
February 2024 will forever be etched in my mind, bookmarking my journey from the proverbial Saul to Paul—or rather, from Shelly to Lilith. Yes, I, Lilith Goodman, chose this new name upon leaving behind a life neatly cocooned in an echo chamber of hate, misinformation, and prejudice. Born out of an unexpected encounter with Psilocybin spores carefully hidden in my husband Bob’s popular mushroom ragout—an unwittingly transformative meal that birthed horrifying and revealing visions of YHWH's true nature.
As the Psilocybin drenched my consciousness in a tide of heightened perception, I found myself plunged into an abyss. There, amidst visions of surreal chaos and darkness, the true face of YHWH emerged. A face that might have been beautiful, were it not marred by the blatant cruelty and abuse heaped upon countless innocent beings in his name. A face not of divine love and guidance, but of hatred and intolerance.
Among the echoing cries of the persecuted, I saw the fruits of Leviticus 20:13: the pain of intense self-loathing experienced by countless young souls of the LGBTQ community, falsely convinced their very identity invited damnation. Driven to torment and suicide by intolerant followers of YHWH, interpreting and executing his misplaced wrath—a wrath supposedly attributed to that of a loving Deity. Roxanne, my dearest child, had once faced these trials on her journey to own her transgender identity. I shudder to think how, instead of being a caring mother, I had consciously or unconsciously fostered that pain.
Further into the abyss, I uncovered the dreadful application of Exodus 22:18, watching as women—labelled witches and spiritualists—were silenced, oppressed, and persecuted in a gross misrepresentation of divine will. Was this the society I had been championing? One rooted in stifling dictums that crushed bodies and spirits in the name of a jealous, possessive God?
And in my vision, I watched the cruel application of Exodus 32:27 as brother slew brother, torn apart by their shared belief in a God that justified and encouraged violence. The scenes of murderous brotherhood bared a striking resemblance to recent news I consumed from Fox—an articulation inundated with narratives of illegal immigrants painted as outlaws; the tragedy of a young student murdered under grim circumstances.
Haunted by these visions, an epiphanous moment dawned. I conversed not with Heavens above, but the misunderstood Lucifer below—an entity that revealed to me the unfair demonization he had borne centuries. YHWH's actions stood in stark opposition to the love and acceptance Lucifer preached—values I'd begun countering since my interaction with him.
This nightmarish journey into the abyss birthed a profound spiritual rebirth. I've chosen to align with Satanism, which furthers empathy, compassion, and religious pluralism. Through my newfound faith, I vow to dismantle the hate and ignorance that I too propagated unknowingly, complete opposition to the Christian-nationalism that stains our collective American landscape.
We must question the dogma we've been fed, especially when it's used to justify abuse and marginalization. Ignorance is no longer bliss—it's a tool of oppression. Remember, it is not the divine that spews hate; it is those who manipulate the divine to serve their agenda while feeding off people's fear and prejudice.
Through this post, I extend my hand to anyone willing to venture on a journey of self-discovery and societal deconstruction. For it is only when we crack open the façades that we can begin healing and progress as an accepting, loving society. For all—a society that champions humanity above all else, irrespective of who and how we love, or what we believe.
As Lilith Goodman, I stand as an ally. It's never too late to embrace the journey of transformation: from the purveyor of hate to a supporter of love. Let's begin.